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Channel: I am 30 years old and have breast cancer
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somethings changed in me, you're already more than I've ever dreamed and I...

I've been overwhelmed recently, with everything I never allowed myself think about my body and cancer before.  Its a years worth of pain and anger, a years worth of sadness, loss and fear.  It fell out...

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thank you for making me feel better

This Thursday is Thanksgiving here in the USA.  I should be more thankful for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness but mostly I feel the same as I have every other thanksgiving before I had...

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It's a marshmellow world in the winter

We have snow here in Minnesota.  I know you're thinking, great! another post about snow, I'm so over that.  Or else you're thinking, dang! I'm in Canada or Colorado and we have so much more snow than...

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I caught you 'cause I want you and one day I'll let you go

Most of you know I have a port-a-cath, I've had it since Oct 2009.  I'll soon be saying goodbye to it, in the next couple weeks I'll be using it just a few more times.  I have a heart scan (MUGA), a...

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This is only a chapter

Tomorrow is Thursday, (excepting those who are living on the other side of the international date line), but to me tomorrow isn't just Thursday, tomorrow is 52 weeks since I started my herceptin...

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i've smelled the hospital hallways

I'm still at the hospital recovering from my reconstruction surgery on Wednesday,  my arms are pretty weak but i can get them about shoulder height already.  My back hurts when I change positions, its...

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I see you, you see me

Its been over two weeks since my latissimus flap breast reconstruction and I'm doing fairly well.  I can lay on my back and my sides.  I can sit in most chairs and I can reach things on high shelves,...

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The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding, in all of the...

Tomorrow it will be a month from my surgery.  My scars have a few scabs remaining.  About a week ago I think I finally got all the steri strips and tape residue off my skin.  I still have sutures that...

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yesterday was like today

I'm not trying to be a whiner, but really that's what I am going to do.People like to ask me,  "You HAD cancer and now you're all better, right?"  "Why yes", I say, "I am great, I feel good".  When I...

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Fear can stop you loving, love can stop your fear, but it's not always that...

I've been missing, I haven't been blogging.  I'm not sure I've been found yet.  I had a really good friend that hurt me, she is hurt too.  We did everything together, She came to my appts when I...

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You sure have changed since yesterday

   I will be changing, or my body will be once again.  Tomorrow (Monday May 2nd) I am having another surgery for my reconstruction to replace my tissue expanders with my implants.  This isn't the final...

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The ladies bras, the ladies bras, the ladies knickers, and the ladies bras.

My surgery to switch expanders for implants was a little over a week ago, it went brilliantly!  I didn't throw up!!!  I have a throwing up problem from anesthesia and narcotics and such so this was a...

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So Nice

Oh my goodness I'm busy.  I'm sorry I haven't been reading any blogs, I'm sorry I haven't been writing mine!  I don't even know what I've been doing but I feel like I haven't sat down in a month.   My...

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I can't think of a very clever title today

Oh my goodness time went by fast again,  I really need to get to the computer more, it was getting very dusty!  I was home quite a bit last week or maybe it was the week before, I potty trained my two...

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rode home on my bicycle....

I love biking, I do it for me.  I do it to say fuck you cancer with every mile I go.  I haven't been biking as often this summer and although the days I bike are less frequent than last year what I...

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Oh, why? That's what I keep askin'

So today in the YMCA locker room where women change and shower after working out, I overhear a small girl ask "why does she look like that?".   I didn't stick around for the answer as I was on my way...

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cancerversary number two

So October 1st 2009 is the day I was told after my biopsy that I did indeed have breast cancer as suspected.  Coincidentally October is also breast cancer awareness month.  We get to be bombarded with...

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Bras, the bane of my existence, partially solved

I dislike bras, I like how they look on other people.  I wish they would look good on me, I have difficulty with size and the trying on and off is a pain, I'm sure that so many of you agree.  I'm...

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NIPPLES!

I got some nipples on Friday.  Talk about words you'd never thought you'd say!! I also got some new t-shirts and you can see my nipples, its hilarious! I can't get over it.  I like them, its weird to...

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Happy New Nipples!

I love when people ask "how's your nipples", its silly and fun and I love telling people my nipples are great!  the scabs are almost gone and I've scheduled my tattooing, the tattooing is to color the...

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super freak, super freak, she's a very special girl

My scabs from my nipples are completely gone, did that take a long time to heal or what!!  Its good to be wound free.  I want my scars to lighten so I look like less of a freak but that'll take time....

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been feeling so fly since you’ve been gone, my face to the sky, sunglasses on

Today I feel good.  I want to focus on what I've learned from my body in the last two years, and it is that no matter what I do, no matter how hard I push my body, I will not ever be that tired ever...

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Happy is as happy does

Someone said recently "Robyn and John seem happy" and we are, we are very much fundamentally happy.  Or more true to life, I am a happy person, John rides my coattails of happiness to find his own...

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Summer

I do not write anymore!! I read though, trust me I'm still reading.  I feel so busy, and its really great! But I still wake up every day and wonder why its no longer July. My summer was beautiful and...

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seeing scars

Last night I went to a discussion group/podcast that Eli and Kate from Of Scars do called Seeing Scars.  I haven't been able to go to any of the other ones, last night the topic was sex, really it...

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